FRIDAY: Phoney it in.

Evidence continues to emerge indicating that a proposed Tea Party attempting to get on the ballot in Michigan, is actually a Democratic front. Officials became suspicious when they noticed that many sign-bearing patriots at a recent rally had spelled "Hitler" wrong.

Kentucky Senate candidate Rand Paul (R) has come out to say that he supports the controversial practice of top-removal coal mining, where mountains reach a great height before an incredible amount of pressure destroys them, leveling them off and rendering them disaster areas. Paul says he can relate.

Enjoy your weekend, but please leave other people's alone.

Follow along at Twitter.com/TheWeekinRebuke.

THURSDAY: Hitting the airwaves.

President Obama taped an interview that will air on The View today, in an effort to raise poll numbers by convincing people that he is working to create jobs. The White House figured that the best way to do that would be to address all of the people who are already at home watching TV during the day, and those who are influenceable enough to get their opinions from Whoopi Goldberg. In the past, such an interview would be primetime domain for someone like Barbara Walters, but she apparently goes to bed much earlier these days.

Vice President Biden was on The Today Show this morning and claimed, "I assure you, we are doing significant damage to al-Qaida in Pakistan as well as in Afghanistan." When asked to provide some evidence, Biden proceeded to leak more than 30,000 pages worth of classified documents.

WEDNESDAY: Fund in the sun.

On Tuesday, the House overwhelmingly passed a war funding bill, contributing an additional $33 billion to the troop surge in Afghanistan. A competing proposal was narrowly beaten out which would have taken the money, put it in a hole and burned it.

Billions of dollars designated for reconstruction in Iraq cannot be accounted for, according to a new federal report. The Department of Defense is certain it can find it by retracing its steps back over the last seven years, but if anyone has seem it they should seriously speak up. In the event that the money remains missing the U.S. plans to leave a self-addressed, stamped envelope for the Iraqis to mail the money back to the states should they find it after the US has completely withdrawn. DoD officials note that although many reconstruction efforts may fail as a result, that the plan to create thousands of piles of rubble was hugely successful.

BREAKING NEWS: Tony Robbins' jaw separates itself further from his forehead. Developing.

TUESDAY: A crude figure.

BP is now estimating that they will spend $32 billion dealing with the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Outgoing CEO Tony Hayward noted that most of the money was paid to journalists to get them to stop using the term "tar balls." New CEO, Bob Dudley, is hoping to re-brand the ecological disaster in a positive light by giving it the nickname, "Slick."

A 20-day expedition by scientists down to the Titanic has been planned for August, which will result in a high-tech 3D map of the sunken shipwreck. James Cameron has already bought the rights to the map, which he plans to adapt into the 2012 release, "Titanic Map - 3D." The movie will allow viewers the experience of looking at the map for three and a half hours, while Cameron recites Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States to his Oscars, and is expected to cost $875 million to make.

Pentagon spokesman Geoff Morrell claims that leaked documents about the war "[involve] secrets that should not be disseminated into the public domain and could potentially endanger our operations and our forces in Afghanistan." Army officials are concerned that the public might learn just how complicated and intricate their inability to do anything in the region actually is. Most of the 90,000 confidential pages contained instructions for how to complicate situations with locals and hilarious, morale-raising email forwards.

MONDAY: Going in for the shrill.

President Obama will visit ABC's "The View" this week, to try and connect with the show's broad, female demographic. Numerous security measures are being added to the set, which Elisabeth Hasselbeck assumed were all for her protection. This will mark the first time that a sitting president has appeared on a daytime television show, although Richard Nixon made repeated attempts to get onto "The Price is Right."

In the town of Novozavidovo, Jean Gregoire Sagbo has become the first Black Russian ever elected to political office in the country. He beat out a rum runner, a zombie and a screwdriver to become a municipal councilor in a town that has been plagued by alcoholism.

In Germany a techno music festival called, The Love Parade, has resulted in tragedy when 19 people were crushed to death and 342 injured. Apparently mass panic set in for tens of thousands of Germans when they suddenly felt emotions.

FRIDAY: Dems the breaks.

After more than a year of trying, Democrats are giving up their attempt to pass an energy bill, failing to earn a single Republican vote for the legislation. Many in the GOP are now swayed by scientific evidence supporting man's influence on global warming, they just believe that the Rapture will come before any significant problems occur as a result. A key objection on the right was to various versions of a "Cap and Trade" measure, which they swore off because trading sounded a bit too socialist for their liking.

The Obama family will show support for the Gulf region by taking a trip to Florida in August. And although the water may be a bit too oily to swim in, it will not be unlike previous trips to the region when Sasha and Malia would spend time playing on Charlie Crist's face. Barack and Michele want their daughters to have the experience of seeing a major disaster up close and personal without having to go into the West Wing, the Treasury Department or a Washington Wizards game.

Enjoy the time until Monday.

Follow along at Twitter.com/TheWeekinRebuke

FRIDAY: Dems the breaks.

After more than a year of trying, Democrats are giving up their attempt to pass an energy bill, failing to earn a single Republican vote for the legislation. Many in the GOP are now swayed by scientific evidence supporting man's influence on global warming, they just believe that the Rapture will come before any significant problems occur as a result. A key objection on the right was to various versions of a "Cap and Trade" measure, which they swore off because trading sounded a bit too socialist for their liking.

The Obama family will show support for the Gulf region by taking a trip to Florida in August. And although the water may be a bit too oily to swim in, it will not be unlike previous trips to the region when Sasha and Malia would spend time playing on Charlie Crist's face. Barack and Michele want their daughters to have the experience of seeing a major disaster up close and personal without having to go into the West Wing, the Treasury Department or a Washington Wizards game.

THURSDAY: Double-clicked.

Facebook hit 500 million users on Wednesday. Users are considering suing for assault.

President Obama signed Wall Street reform into law yesterday in Washington, DC. Bank CEOs were not on hand for the occasion as they got caught up on the National Mall shaking down children for nickels.

WEDNESDAY: Not to be outgunked.

As BP works on a relief well that they hope will be completed by the weekend, China is dealing with its largest oil spill in history, leading to several beaches being closed along the Yellow Sea. While China respects the Gulf oil spill, they have made it clear that they are determined to have the largest and most vibrant oil spill in the world. US officials, worried about keeping their own environmental mess active, are considering borrowing spill from the Chinese, but worry about future generations being stuck with the clean-up.

A new report details exactly what the House of Representatives is spending money on with their Members Representational Allowances, the cash they receive to operate their offices in exchange for vacuuming and raking leaves. Here is a breakdown of a few of the findings over a nine month period:

$11 million was spent on newspapers, which came as a surprise to newspaper publishers who could have sworn they stopped printing anything a couple years ago.

$604 thousand was spent on bottled water, although that was just for the office plants.

$565,373 was spent on carpeting, mainly to replace sections that had been sullied with blood, urine, semen and Nancy Pelosi's Haagen-Dazs drippings.

$18 million was spent on computer hardware, $5.3 million was spent on computer software, and $2 million was spent on computer Wear-ware, a popular line of decorative monitor sleeves designed by Vera Wang.

TUESDAY: The summertime boos.

The Senate Judiciary Committee meets today to vote on the nomination of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. She is expected to easily pass through the Democrat-dominated body, although a few GOP senators may get a few veiled "Jew" barbs in there just to keep the summer spicy.

Glenn Beck admitted at any event yesterday in Salt Lake City that he has macular dystrophy and could go blind within a year. Beck's main concern is that his ratings will drop if people can't see his eyes when he gently weeps for the future of the country. Fox officials commented that this is just part of the run-up to Beck's new show, "Justice IS Blind."

A man was arrested in Mexico City's airport for smuggling 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle around his waste. Officials were prompted to search the man after feces appeared to be coming out of his stomach, and he claimed to not have had the tap water in days.

MONDAY: Hazard pay.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced $500 million in aid to Pakistan for projects, to show the country that America has a vested interest in them. Unemployed Americans are encouraged to consider relocating.

Sarah Palin used her Twitter account to call on Muslims to "refudiate" plans for a mosque at Ground Zero. While Palin has been unforgiving about this particular issue, she has also shown great empathy for the millions of people in this country who don't speak English.

President Obama will use a Rose Garden speech this morning to chastise Republicans for obstructing an extension of unemployment benefits. GOP officials could not be reached for comment but are expected to release a statement from their lair once their mimeograph is operational.

FRIDAY: Capped evading.

BP reports that a cap has temporarily stopped the flow of oil into the Gulf. Officials will now shift their focus to the more complicated task of suing the Gulf states to get all of the oil out of their sand.

Yesterday, the Senate passed the final version of Wall Street Reform legislation with little fanfare on the Hill. Most of the celebrating happened in the Oval Office, where President Obama scored another piece of major legislation and on Wall Street where the banks are fairly certain they can still do whatever they want. Included in the bill is a new Consumer Protection Agency, which was designed to take the blame the next time the country's economy tanks.

The Portland Tribune is reporting that the claims of an Oregon masseuse, Molly Hagerty, that Al Gore sexually assaulted her have some basis in truth, but that there is also considerable evidence that complicates her story. Hagerty is planning on trying to prove her point in a short documentary, the bulk of which will be her giving a Powerpoint presentation and speaking with a low, methodical drawl.

In the Nevada Senate race, Harry Reid (D) has pulled into a 7-point lead in the Mason-Dixon poll over Tea Party darling Sharron Angle, largely due to her beliefs that the United States shouldn't have a government and that a handgun in a chair could effectively run Las Vegas.

Until Monday, keep eating and sleeping at regular intervals.

Follow along at Twitter.com/TheWeekinRebuke.

THURSDAY: A wretching affair.

Kellogg Co. has issued a recall of over 28 million boxes of cereal after higher-than-normal amounts of certain chemicals in the liners caused an unusual smell and flavor. They first noticed the issue when Toucan Sam had to leave a photo shoot due to violent dry heaving. He is reported to be fine and plans to return to work next week, promoting the new Florida strip club he co-owns with Dig'Em Frog, "Sugar Treats."

On his television show Wednesday night, Fox personality Glenn Beck faked tears to mock Nancy Pelosi's emotional response to discussing frightening Tea Party rhetoric. But what Beck didn't know is that Pelosi was actually mocking Beck, thus unleashing the Emotional Manipulation Mobius Strip Effect, which will likely end with both of them in quivering puddles of feigned pathos.

Apple has announced a press conference to be held on Friday, which many are speculating will be to address technical concerns with their iPhone 4. Insiders report, though, that instead of recalling the flawed device they will simply unveil the brand new iPhone 5, which will have all of the same features as the iPhone 4 plus an amazing rubber bumper that surrounds and covers the previously problematic metal antenna. Trade-ins of the iPhone 4 will not be accepted, but anyone with the old phone can turn it in at the time of purchase and receive three free iTunes store song downloads.

Argentina legalized gay marriage on Thursday, providing a nice distraction from all of the street crime.

WEDNESDAY: It gets cold in Alaska.

Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, daughter of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, say they have reconciled and once again plan to get married. The couple plans to write their own vows, although there is no word yet on whether or not Johnston will use them as an opportunity to talk more shit about his future mother-in-law.

The National League won the All-Star game last night for the first time in 13 years. After the game players could not stop talking about how exciting it would be if they could do it again in 2023.

Critics now claim that given a poor rating from Consumer Reports and concerns about design flaws, Apple may be forced to recall their new iPhone 4. Company insiders have admitted that most of the field testing involved employees staring at the phone while they pleasured themselves.

The plan to use a new cap to start shutting down valves and plug the oil well that is still spilling into the Gulf of Mexico was halted yesterday when government officials and BP were stunned by the news that Levi and Bristol were back together. There is no word on when their emotions will subside and they can return to the task at hand.

TUESDAY: Never say die.

New York Yankees Owner George Steinbrenner has died from a heart attack at age 80. The Yankees are expected to try to acquire the best heart and brain possible on the market to reanimate him before the trade deadline expires.

Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert was fined $100,000 for his comments about LeBron James, following the superstar's departure from his team. Rev. Jesse Jackson claimed that Gilbert is treating James like a "runaway slave," although Michele Bachmann (R-MN) doesn't see any problem with the comments whatsoever.

David Ortiz won the MLB Homerun Derby last night. Many fans described the event as, "a lot like batting practice."

MONDAY: Capping trade.

BP reports that underwater robots are busy trying to put a new containment cap over the busted well that has been spewing oil into the Gulf for over two months. The attempt is part of BPs effort to make sure that underwater robots stay employed during this difficult time. Gulf residents and politicians are reserving judgment about the procedure, until they find a way to cope with its inevitable failure.

According to a report filed with the Federal Elections Commission, in the second quarter Sarah Palin's political action group spent $87,000 on campaign donations, $210,000 on consulting and $537,000 on staying relevant. Millions of supporters still hope that the former Alaskan governor will consider a 2012 presidential run, especially after Russian spies were recently able to infiltrate the country while she wasn't looking.

Spain has won its first ever World Cup soccer championship, defeating the Netherlands 1-0. 300,000 people flooded the streets of Madrid to celebrate, in what was the greatest Spanish turn-out since the Jews were exiled in 1492.

FRIDAY: The is Heat is 'Bron.

LeBron James announced last night that he will play for the Miami Heat next season, along with NBA all-stars Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. The trio will be joined by nine of the luckiest minimum wage players in the history of the NBA. King James announced his decision during an hour-long special on ESPN appropriately dubbed, "The Decision," the proceeds of which went to benefit the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. All of the kids in attendance learned close-up that if you work hard and dedicate yourself to your sport, some day you can use your image to sell Vitamin Water.

A new poll from Democracy Corps says that 55% of all Americans believe that Barack Obama is a socialist. The same study also found that 60% of Americans believe that Dancing With The Stars is a news show.

Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, has resigned from her client, and although no formal reason has been announced it is suspected that she had irreconcilable differences with the actress. Lohan claims she will be fine on her own, citing irreconcilable differences with reality.

The United States has traded 10 deported Russian spies for 4 American spies, in a complicated procedure in Vienna, Austria. The Russians reportedly are thrilled with the outcome, noting the favorable 2.5:1 exchange rate.

Enjoy weekending.

Follow along at Twitter.com/TheWeekinRebuke.

THURSDAY: Reaching out and around.

Bill Clinton has told Esquire magazine that he wants to spend the next three years committed to Haiti. Haiti is optimistic about the relationship, but also wouldn't be surprised if Clinton got caught getting head from Puerto Rico.

Bobby Jindal has signed a new law in Louisiana that allows citizens with the proper training and certification to carry concealed firearms into places of worship if they are serving as part of a security force. Residents report that their previous security plan - having faith that their ever-loving God would protect them - has not worked out so well.

Scientists at NASA have released a report on why the Adidas Jabulani ball, the official soccer ball of the World Cup, behaves oddly when it starts moving over 44 mph, in an effort to make soccer even less interesting and more technical.

WEDNESDAY: King of the airwaves.

Free agent NBA superstar LeBron James will announce his decision of where he will play basketball next year during a one-hour special on ESPN Thursday night. Other decisions, like what he has for lunch, who he's hanging out with and what he's wearing will continue to take up all the rest of the time on ESPN until then.

In an interview with the Daily Mirror, Prince has declared that "the Internet is completely over." The Internet has responded saying that Prince was washed up fifteen years ago.

Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating her probation. Her lawyers fought hard to keep her out of jail, offering that she be required to make a sequel to Herbie Fully Loaded instead.

TUESDAY: "Shalom" means "hello" and "goodbye."

President Obama will meet with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today, in an effort to ease the strained relationship between the two. The president has made it clear that no matter how low expectations are for the meeting, he is certain that he can find a way to fail to meet them. Netanyahu was seen carrying a pup tent and food along with him onto his flight, and has not asked permission, but doesn't expect anyone to mind if he settles in the West Wing.

Republican members of Congress are being asked to fill out a three-page survey as part of their America Speaking Out project, which will help them establish the party's agenda moving forward. They are being told to record what constituents have told them are the most important issues facing the country, to make sure that they don't accidentally come up with their own ideas.

The East Coast could be facing temperatures as high as 102 degrees today. The South says, "Suck it up."

Glenn Beck has announced he is starting an online college called Beck University, where students can learn about, "the concepts of Faith, Hope and Charity and show you how they influence America's past, her present and most importantly her future." The courses will not be for credit, though, meaning that Beck's target audience will still be without a college education.

MONDAY: Eating him up inside.

Joey "Jaws" Chestnut won his fourth consecutive 4th of July Coney Island hot dog eating competition on Sunday, eating 54 dogs in ten minutes and proving once again that Americans can mindlessly shove more food in their faces than any other nation on earth. Following the match, former champion Takeru Kobayashi, who did not compete this year due to a contract dispute, was charged with resisting arrest after he went around a police barrier and sneaked onto the stage. Kobayashi was later released and seen at the bar, depressed, drinking six-packs of beer and devouring twenty-pound plates of hot wings.

Over the weekend numerous Republican senators as well as Afghanistan's ambassador to the United States criticized President Obama's planned withdrawal, claiming that it will just embolden the enemy who will simply "wait him out." Obama has seen the downside of such an approach himself, emboldening his opponents' obstructionism by declaring that he would step away from the presidency in either 2012 or 2016.

BP claims they have now spent $3.12 billion on the Gulf oil spill clean up, answering the age old question, "How much money does it take to NOT clean up the worst ecological disaster in history?" BP scientists are now looking to take the "automobile oil change" method, draining all of the crude out of the earth before putting it back in.

FRIDAY: Heady is the head that wears the crown.

The LeBron James sweepstakes continues in the NBA, with the New York Knicks and New Jersey Nets meeting with him yesterday. Apparently those two teams briefly considered joining forces, with the hopes that they might be able to combine for enough wins in the past few seasons to impress the superstar. Rap mogul Jay-Z, a part-owner of the Nets, was on hand with their contingent to talk to James, whereas the dysfunctional Knicks sent their coach, some hot dogs and five guys from Queens who can be incredibly persuasive. Today, "The King" is expected to hear from the Los Angeles Clippers, if they can figure out how to read the map to get to the meeting site.

Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele said yesterday at a fundraiser in Connecticut that the U.S. should get out of Afghanistan, and had no business being there in the first place. The comments were surprising given Steele's long history of sticking around when no one wanted him to. He went on to call the war one "of Obama's choosing," saying that if he was a student of history he would know that you do not engage in a land war in Afghanistan. Although if Steele was a student of recent history, he would also remember who the president was when the U.S. invaded the country on October 7th, 2001.

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) has released a statement saying he will vote against the nomination of Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court, on the grounds that it's fun to have your name in the news.

Enjoy your 3rd and 4th of July Weekend.

Follow along at Twitter.com/TheWeekinRebuke.

THURSDAY: No such thing as a free bunch.

NBA free agency has begun, and what many are expecting to be the most interesting summer in league history is now officially kicking into high gear. As speculation about superstar LeBron James gives way to news-worthy headlines, many are going to be left wondering, "How soon will this be adapted into a Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson movie?"

Microsoft is already killing it's new Kin phone, only a month after launching the social media tool. It was designed to predominantly let you monitor Twitter and Facebook status updates, which, for a smart phone, was deemed to be pretty stupid. Microsoft will shift the Kin team over to work on the Windows Phone 7, which is expected to operate on Windows 95.

Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV), who passed away at 92 on Monday, and who served longer than any other U.S. Senator, will lie in repose in the Senate today. Democratic leaders are hoping that if they can filter a bit of a breeze in there to move his arm toward the buttons, they might be able to squeeze a few more votes out of him.

WEDNESDAY: Engulfed.

Hurricane Alex is moving westward on a collision course with southern Texas, the first June hurricane in the Atlantic since 1995. It's all part of Mother Nature's ongoing, "Fuck The Gulf" campaign, which she has been running vigorously since August, 2005. Future plans include, snapping off Florida and sending it over to Africa, a sea monster attack on Alabama and Georgia, and a Rolling Stones-inspired tsunami that will rage through the BP oil spill clean up effort and consequently paint the entire country black. Conservative Christian pundits do see some positive trending in recent events, though, as Hurricane Alex is expected to predominantly make landfall in Mexico.

House Democrats are making a push this week to collect dues from members for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, in advance of what is expected to be a difficult fall election period. Additionally, Barney Frank (D-NY) will be holding a bake sale to raise funds, Steny Hoyer (D-MD) will be hosting a car wash in Northern Virgina and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) plans to jump members as they head home after work and rough them up something awful if they don't cough up what they owe.

The late night king of queries, Larry King, has decided to step down as the host of his own show after 25 years. King is hoping to move away from the desk, where he can continue to grow and so that his shoulders can finally descend.

BREAKING NEWS: Girl with large breasts suddenly very important to Internet news outlets.

TUESDAY: Flipping the Byrd.

Senator Robert Byrd died yesterday of old-timey causes. His passing disrupts the delicate balance of power in the Senate, and now means that the next few weeks will have to be devoted to getting "that old guy smell" out of the chamber. Many of Byrd's colleagues took to the floor to speak about him during the session yesterday, including Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) who claimed that this is just another example of the weakness of Democratic leadership.

Supreme Court confirmation hearings continue for Elena Kagan today, as a divide emerges between GOP elected officials and their conservative base. The latter is hoping that representatives will put up a fight and filibuster the nominee, but Republican Senators have already made it clear that they really don't want to miss any episodes during ABC's summer season.

Over the weekend Vice President Biden was caught on camera calling the store manager of a frozen custard shop in Wisconsin a "smartass." In his defense, though, the man was being a huge fucking douche bag.

BREAKING NEWS: Twilight's Kristen Stewart slowly looks to be getting sleepier and sleepier.

MONDAY: Making them count.

CIA Director Leon Panetta estimated on Sunday that there may be less than 50 al-Qaida fighters in Afghanistan, compared to the 98,000 U.S. troops that will be in the country by fall. U.S. forces under new leadership from General David Petraeus will consider shifting focus to Pakistan, where most of the terrorist network is operating, although they are not sure they can rustle up the 45,000,000 soldiers they think they’ll need to get anything done. While U.S. casualties have been surging in recent months, military officials assert that with the number of troops in the region, the tally of fallen soldiers becomes a lower percentage than if there was a more reasonably-sized group fighting the war. Embedded reporters from Spin, Maxim and Seventeen are expected to have more quotes from inside personnel soon.

Germany defeated England 4-1 to advance to the next round of the World Cup. Many could have predicted the result based on stereotypes, with Germany’s reputation as ruthlessly efficient and England’s as being petrified by conflict.

6-year-old Alyssa Thomas from Ohio has popped up on the TSA’s terror watch list, as her family discovered when they attempted to fly recently. The 1st grader claims she has no clue why she would be on the list, although her parents refuse to answer questions about the fits she threw repeatedly on airplanes as a baby.

Gay Pride celebrations were held all over the country on Sunday, with parades, concerts and rallies. 51 consecutive weekends of Straight Pride start back up on Saturday.

FRIDAY: Deal and no deal.

House and Senate negotiators have finally come to an agreement as to how to merge the House and Senate financial reform bills. Consumers will be pleased to learn that some new restrictions will be in place on banks and how they can use investors' money, and Wall Street will be pleased to learn that consumers can't understand all the ways the banks can still screw them over.

World leaders gather in Canada this weekend for the G-8 and G-20 Summits. Organizers proposed combining the two to create a G-28 Summit, although mathematicians insisted that it would technically become the 2G-28 Summit.

And in news news, BP is sending PR professionals to the Gulf Coast states to pretend to be journalists, a move that will surely rile the folks at Fox News who have been pretending to be journalists since 1996.

Enjoy your week ending.

Follow along at Twitter.com/TheWeekinRebuke.

THURSDAY: The seven year switch.

President Obama has replaced Afghanistan commander Gen. Stanley McChrystal, after he made critical comments about the war in Rolling Stone Magazine. The rights to the interview almost went to Maxim Magazine, although McChrystal was not willing to accept their request to take his shirt off for photographs. Iraq War architect Gen. David Petraeus will take over the effort in Afghanistan, a move that has earned praise from both sides of the aisle, as well as in the aisle itself, where Sen. John McCain can often be found napping in between comments.

Vice President Biden was on hand for the president's announcement, although there is no word on how big of a deal he thinks this situation is.

WEDNESDAY: Swinging into November.

In South Carolina, Nikki Haley has won a run-off in the Republican gubernatorial primary, after fending off accusations of infidelity. She said she is looking forward to the general election although the idea of committing to just one challenger is not nearly as exciting. Campaign officials deny the charge that she is looking to run for other offices before November.

TUESDAY: Getting called to the presidents office.

General Stanley McChrystal, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, has been called to the White House after giving an interview to Rolling Stone in which he criticized President Obama and his administration. The president may look to remove the general, although he has concerns about doing anything to raise the unemployment rate. If he did, though, he would look to appoint someone who has a more positive outlook about Afghanistan, perhaps someone from the Pakistani Taliban. Conservative critics argue that McChrystal should be kept around as he was simply speaking truth to powerless.