MONDAY: A sorry state of affairs.

On the Sunday morning news talk shows, Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) was the talk of the town, having apologized to BP for the way the government was treating them, and then having to apologize for his apology. He just needs one more expression of regret to earn a free steak dinner at the GOP clubhouse cafeteria. Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel criticized Barton, saying that this is how the Republicans would govern if they were in power. He then laid out exactly how the Democrats would run the country, if they ever gain control of Congress in the future.

Even Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) had to distance himself from Barton's remarks, saying, "BP needs to take responsibility for its actions, so it can get back to offering the world smart, affordable energy solutions to effectively meet the needs of the modern world." He then added, "Wind turbines look stupid."

In World Cup action this morning, Portugal scored seven times to earn a lopsided victory over North Korea. The actors hired to play North Korean fans looked convincingly disappointed.

AT&T and Apple users report receiving emails canceling their pre-orders for the new iPhone 4, set to be released this week. As consolation, those customers will be allowed to wait around anxiously until enough devices come in from the factory, and then purchase them at the exact same price.