Top executives from a number of oil companies will be on Capitol Hill today to testify for the House Energy and Commerce Committee. They potentially face a number of new regulations, which in light of the BP spill in the Gulf of Mexico, they intend to strictly obey, before completely ignoring them. President Obama will address the nation tonight regarding the ecological disaster, and is expected to spend about 20 minutes elaborately going through the details surrounding the spill, in order to demonstrate that he had nothing to do with it. Officials have also released that he will discuss America's need to become less dependent on fossil fuels, which comes as good news for the Sun, who over the last two years has spent tens of millions of dollars on lobbyists.
A California man wielding a pistol, a 40-inch sword, a dagger and night-vision goggles has been detained in northern Pakistan, telling investigators that he was on a solo mission to kill Osama bin Laden. The man, a 52 year-old construction worker named Gary Brooks Faulkner , got the idea after purchasing all of his gear at a local church bazaar. This marks the first time since 2001 that the U.S. has captured anyone in the region.
Finally, Tiger Woods blah blah blah "porn queen" blah blah love child blah blah, click here for pictures.
TUESDAY: Happy Valentine's Day.
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