WEDNESDAY: Primaries covered.

Millions of Americans went to the polls yesterday to cast their ballots in a slew of important primary races. A few thousand people also voted in far less significant Starbucks Via challenges.

In Arkansas, Sen. Blanche Lincoln beat out Bill Halter in the Democratic primary with support from presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Clinton stumped for the embattled senator, while Obama used robo-calls to, like Lincoln, phone-in his connection to the citizens of Arkansas. Progressive voters had attacked Lincoln for her moderate stances, moderates had attacked her for her progressive stances, and those without any conviction at all oddly felt a deep kinship with the senator.

Nevada gubernatorial candidate Nikki Haley, who has had to fight off two separate charges of infidelity, ran up a large margin between her and all other competitors in the Republican primary. Since she did not get 50% of the vote, though, she will compete in a run-off against just one other candidate, which Haley has said will be, "a hard challenge," and that she is "committed to just going after him in spite of the strong and sudden urges to still pounce on other candidates."

Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid caught a break in Nevada, as Tea Party extremist Sharron Angle, beat out the GOP establishment candidate, Sue Lowden in the Republican primary. Lowden shot herself in the foot after insisting that the bartering of chickens could be a viable way to pay for medical care, while Angle avoided any miscues by fervently supporting everyone else's right to shoot whatever or whoever they wanted.

And in her primary battle against herself, Lindsay Lohan has reportedly defeated sobriety and will now face off against jail time for violation of her parole. She is expected to lose either way.