Bill Clinton has told Esquire magazine that he wants to spend the next three years committed to Haiti. Haiti is optimistic about the relationship, but also wouldn't be surprised if Clinton got caught getting head from Puerto Rico.
Bobby Jindal has signed a new law in Louisiana that allows citizens with the proper training and certification to carry concealed firearms into places of worship if they are serving as part of a security force. Residents report that their previous security plan - having faith that their ever-loving God would protect them - has not worked out so well.
Scientists at NASA have released a report on why the Adidas Jabulani ball, the official soccer ball of the World Cup, behaves oddly when it starts moving over 44 mph, in an effort to make soccer even less interesting and more technical.
TUESDAY: Happy Valentine's Day.
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