Tuesday, July 20, 2010

TUESDAY: The summertime boos.

The Senate Judiciary Committee meets today to vote on the nomination of Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan. She is expected to easily pass through the Democrat-dominated body, although a few GOP senators may get a few veiled "Jew" barbs in there just to keep the summer spicy.

Glenn Beck admitted at any event yesterday in Salt Lake City that he has macular dystrophy and could go blind within a year. Beck's main concern is that his ratings will drop if people can't see his eyes when he gently weeps for the future of the country. Fox officials commented that this is just part of the run-up to Beck's new show, "Justice IS Blind."

A man was arrested in Mexico City's airport for smuggling 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle around his waste. Officials were prompted to search the man after feces appeared to be coming out of his stomach, and he claimed to not have had the tap water in days.