Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak swore in a new Cabinet today, in an attempt to appease thousands of protesters flooding the streets of Cairo. Other actions taken by the despised leader include changing the government's phone number, getting new pencils for all of the desks and promising the embittered masses that he will swiftly act to replace all of the personal assistants that fled his employment and cursed his name.
Mubarak went on to declare that he respects the strong will of the Egyptian people, and he can only hope that all of the citizens they are replaced with have just as much national pride, but far less personal integrity.
Protesters are demanding that members of the Egyptian armed forces declare whether their allegiance is with them or Mubarak. Their response would be in violation of the country's 30 year-old "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
TUESDAY: Up errly.
11 months ago